Partying

Now I don’t want to give out the wrong impression about publishing, but I’m writing this column with another hangover. It was our office party yesterday lunchtime and the effects haven’t worn off yet.

This will sound like I’m grasping at straws, but there is a serious business reason behind this. Everyone complains at work that the year seems to come round too quickly. We’re all working so hard (honestly), that the days blur into one. What you need therefore is the landmarks that give us time to stop and take stock. In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller ‘life goes by so quickly you have to take time out to smell the roses’.

To this end, we have appointed Alex as our ‘Minister of Fun’. This involves organising our parties, events and chocolate Christmas cards. This might also explain why he was jumping on the banquettes in the restaurant yesterday (though he did point out that he is allowed to because he is ten years younger than me).

We also have some great business chat when we out drinking as well. (God, that sounds so sad). However, I do vaguely remember this involved me agreeing to give Louise the editor of our e-business magazine £2000 to set-up a high tech tracker fund. I don’t suppose there are any readers who might be able to help me out with this?

We do our best creative thinking when we have hangovers. I think its because the hangover dims your critical faculties and you come up with ideas you would normally stop – like trying to breakdance in Po-na-na. I’m not sure how great these will all look in the morning. We also have to check everyone’s letters before they go out to check for embarrassments (though not this article obviously).

I’m not sure it is a very good idea to have your party during the week however. I had to go in and do a sales presentation this morning. I don’t think the person noticed, though my Barry White ‘Walrus of Love’ voice might have been slightly disconcerting. We are now all sitting at our machines pretending to work. For example, Ruth has just sent me a great email about office parties. In the spirit of all the lists you get this time of year, I will pass on the top ten tips of ‘You know it's time to go home when...’

1.	You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
2.	You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies loo because you tried twice and ended up on the floor on your bum. And it was wet (not me).
3.	You keep dancing into people and you've fallen off the podium twice (me).
4.	The urge to take all your clothes off, stand on a table and sing "Relight My Fire" become strangely overwhelming.
5.	You start every conversation with, "Don't take this the wrong way but ..."
6.	You're sitting on the floor. On your own.
7.	There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.
8.	You drop your burger on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating.
9.	The entire company has seen your pants.
10.	Most of them against their will.